You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
