I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
