Do you still have your period?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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