Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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