How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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