nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
