so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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