what day is it and did you see me today?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize