Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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