I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
