So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm going to jail i love you
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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