No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
