I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The struggles of a small town man whore
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
