Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
