Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
