Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My friends, they love my intelligence
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
