My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
