This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
