I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i've created a new STD.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize