I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
