dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
