2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm really busy with my period
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