Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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