Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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