I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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