she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
