The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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