Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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