1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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