He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
