I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
