It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
