it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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