Too much gin, very little bucket
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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