i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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