ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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