hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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