You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
