Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize