Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
