If that was your dad, he is hot
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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