Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
