i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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