Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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