should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
