I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
