ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
