nut hugger
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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