I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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