You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
