we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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