Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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