dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
