Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
