did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
