Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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