too bad you live with your parents still
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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