sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
