worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize