Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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