Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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