You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
