the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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