physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
