It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm both gender and math confused
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
