I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
