Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
