FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
