You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
