I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
