fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
